Do you ever look at someone and just know you want to spend the rest of your depressing meaningless life with them?
Instant Date Prank
Someone do this to me I’ll probably fuck you right then and there ok
if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
I am 22 years old, I work for the government, and this is my bed.
Maybe our government is in better hands than I thought.
BEING UGLY IS REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING